06950
DIVORCE/REMARRIAGE
PRESUPPOSITIONS:
1. This is not to condemn anyone in any relationship.
2. This is to present the Scripture involved, and draw conclusions.
3. This is to reprimand the Church for its steady decline and slide
toward the world in relation to this subject. The Churches divorce rate
if about that of the world's.
4. This is to confront people in this situation with a head on look
at what God says concerning the subject. Many today have accepted the norm
for themselves, and have never looked into the Word to see what God has
to say.
5. Malachi 2:15b, 16 States, "Therefore take heed to your spirit, and
let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord,
the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth
violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed
to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously."
Note: God hates the putting away of the wife of your youth. If you do,
you deal treacherously against her. This is the context that this study
must be done in. All else that the Scripture states must be understood
in light of the fact that God hates divorce, and that the person that does
go ahead and divorce, is dealing treacherously with their spouse.
6. This is also a call to the church to commit itself to two items:
a. Begin to properly teach the principles of marriage.
b. That it begin to minister to those already in the divorce/remarried
situation.
First I would like to present some of the views held today on the topic.
1. No divorce No remarriage
2. Div. OK in some cases No remarriage
3. Divorce OK Rem. OK in case of fornication
4. Divorce OK Rem. in case of fornication and
desertion
5. Divorce OK Rem. OK in all cases
One, three and four are held in conservative circles, although four
is not widely held. Three is the past favorite. Two is fairly new and not
to much is being done with it. One is very conservative but I believe that
it is growing rapidly due to the rethinking of the old position of number
three.
Most view death as grounds for remarriage though Paul indicates that
staying single may be best (I Cor. 7). Paul hints that young widows probably
ought to remarry in one of his epistles if they can't handle the life of
a single. (Which is hard for most young people that have lost a spouse
via death. I Cor. 7:7-8 mentions it is better to marry than burn, however
that is specifically in the context of single persons considering not marrying
for the first time and widows. It has nothing to do with the divorcees
situation.)
Let us begin with a text that God set forth through Moses long before
any of the texts that we will consider, were given.
Gen. 2:23-24, "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh
of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave
unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh."
May I add a New Testament passage also?
Matt 19:4-8, "And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read,
that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female,
"And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall
cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God
hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
"They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of
divorcement, and to put her away?
"He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered
you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."
Most agree to this. Marriage is between two, and in the beginning, was
for life.
"Leave" is imperative to a good marriage. The cleave is indicative of
holding to one another and no one else, as in parents or friends (This
is not the idea of moving away from parents, for the Old Testament concept
was the family staying together. The one flesh is indicative of the unity
of the marriage.
How can you divide one flesh? This is the dilemma that faces those that
see divorce as an option. They just don't deal with it.
I might add immediately that a legal separation may be very wise and
in some states divorce. This will provide legal protection in some cases
for the person. IT SHOULD NEVER BE SEEN AS A DIVISION IN THE MARRIAGE FOR
THE LAW CANNOT DIVIDE FLESH. DEATH IS THE ONLY DIVISOR OF THE ONE FLESH
OF A MARRIAGE.
Let us look at the passages that seem to relate to the problem.
Exodus 20:14 "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
The clear command of God in one of His ten big ones! He says that you
shalt not do it!
Lev. 18:16 mentions that it is not right for a brother to uncover the
nakedness of his brother's wife. This would be in the case of a brother
with his presently married brother's wife I would assume.
Lev. 18:20 mentions that adultery defiles the man.
Leviticus 20:10 "And the man that committeth adultery with [another]
man's wife, [even he] that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife,
the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death."
This passage is clear that death was the laws answer to the adulterus
activities of the Israelites. Christ, living under that law, obeying that
law and fulfilling that law would naturally have known of this passage.
He would have had to be thinking of this when He announced the so called
exception for fornication. He knew that under the law, death was the answer
to fornication, and there were no other cases whereby adultery was acceptable.
It is not acceptable in the case of fornication, but is cause for death.
Let us look at the relationship of Christ to the law.
1. Christ was made of a woman under the law: Gal 4:4
2. Christ came to redeem those under the law: Gal 4:5
3. Christ came to fulfill the law: Matt 5:17-20
4. Christ would have to keep the law to fulfill it:
Matt 4:13-17 ("fulfill all righteousness")
5. Christ taught the keeping of the law: Matt 19:16-19
6. Christ did not come to destroy the law, nor to set it aside: Matt
5:17
In light of this it seems doubtful that the Lord was giving an exception
for divorce, but rather He was stating there was no reason for divorce.
Indeed, the reaction of the disciples indicates that they viewed marriage
for life and not something that could be dissolved.
If Christ had such strong feelings about divorce/remarriage, why shouldn't
the minister of God, why shouldn't the woman of God, why shouldn't the
man of God abhor divorce/remarriage within the family of God?
Deuteronomy 5:18 "Neither shalt thou commit adultery." This is a repeat
of the commandment.
Deuteronomy 24:1 We need to understand this text in light of the Malachi
passage concerning God's hate for divorce, and realize that the New Testament
mentions this was allowed because of the hardness of their hearts. (Matt
19:8)
1. "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass
that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness
in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her
hand, and send her out of his house.
2. "And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another
man's wife.
3. "And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement,
and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the
latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;
4. "Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again
to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before
the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy
God giveth thee for an inheritance."
Some brief information on the words used: v 1 some = 1697 (from 1696)
= "dabar (daw-baw) = twot 399a; relates to saying, speech, word, or business.
uncleanness = 6172 (from 6168) = "ervah" (er-vaw) = twot 1692b; relates
to nakedness and shame, or exposed. bill of divorcement = 3748 = "keriythuwth"
(ker-ee-thooth) = twot 1048; means divorce or dismissal. v 4 defiled =
2930 = "tame" (taw-may') = twot 809; This tern relates to being unclean
or impure. It can be sexually, ceremonially, or religiously.
The use of the word "dabar" would indicate that this uncleanness may
be related to the spoken word. It could be cursing, or more to the point
probably, would be the confession of some uncleanness. However, when you
put this word with the word "ervah" you have a double term indicating other
than the thought of uncleanness, but rather the thought of some spoken
nakedness or exposure. This could relate to most any exposure of information
that causes the man to decide he does not want this woman for a wife.
Many believe that this passage relates to the engagement period, before
the actual marriage. It is something that the man finds out before the
actual marriage ceremony and consummation of the marriage.
The term married = 1166 = "baal (bah'-al) = twot 262; Strong: "...to
be master; hence...to marry:-have dominion (over), be husband, marry...."
twot "possess, own, rule over, marry." Neither mention the thought of engagement
period. This would indicate that they were indeed, married, however, since
marriage is for life and the penalty for adultery is death, it seems right
to assume that the text may well be speaking of the engagement period rather
than an actual completed marriage.
Barne's Notes has a good comment which needs to be considered. (Cook,
F.C., editor; "THE BIBLE COMMENTARY"; Grand Rapids: Baker Book House; no
copy, pp 315-316) The author mentions that these four verses are actually
one sentence. "Moses neither institutes nor enjoins divorce. The exact
spirit of the passage is given in our lord's words to the Jews;, 'Moses
because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives'
(Matt. xix. 8). Not only does the original institution of marriage as recorded
by Moses (Gen. ii. 24) set forth the perpetuity of the bond, but the verses
before us plainly intimate that divorce, whilst tolerated for the time,
contravenes the order of nature and of God." He goes on to state, "Moses
could not absolutely put an end to a practice which was traditional, and
common to the Jews with other Oriental nations. His aim is therefore to
regulate and thus to mitigate an evil which he could not extripate."
Since this is a text that we can't really nail down as to meaning, it
should be subjected to a proper level under the institution of marriage
in Genesis and the thought that God hates divorce. The most you might conclude
from this text would be there is something revealed that causes the problem.
You should not assume that this is basis for the divorce rate we see today.
A New Testament illustration of this would be Matt 1:19 when Joseph
considered putting Mary away before they had consummated and completed
the marriage.
In an informal paper from Western Conservative Baptist Seminary in Portland,
OR, the faculty were trying to work through the issue of divorce/remarriage.
They state of the Deut. 24 passage, "Divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 was
allowed but not ordered. What was commanded is this: if there were a divorce,
the person being divorced must be given a bill of divorcement...." They
go on to emphasize that the divorce was due to the hardness of their hearts.
It seems that the emphasis is not on allowing divorce, but that if you
are going to be hard hearted enough to divorce then give a bill of divorcement.
The term defiled in v 4 is "become unclean" according to the Theogical
Wordbook of the Old Testament. It is used in the following texts: Lev.
18:20 defiling a neighbor's wife; Ezek. 18:6 defiling a neighbor's wife;
Num. 5:133,14,20,29; This is strong number 2930.
The first husband caused his wife trouble evidently because she went
out and remarried.
NOTE: The 2nd divorce or idea that she is defiled to the point she is
not able to be married without adding problems to the situation indicates
that the defilement is permanent. Marriage is for life.
Divorce is only recognized in this text, and is not commanded. Divorce
is not even condoned in this text. Divorce is only recognized as being
in existence in this text.
The first husband and I would assume all others are not to marry this
woman. She is defiled for life! The text does not state it but the second
marriage is what defiled her. She is not to remarry.
If the husband divorces he is to do the paperwork that is involved.
This is all that this text is getting at.
The standard of the woman for marriage was: Being a virgin Deut. 22:13ff,
Matt. 1:18ff; or a widow - Ruth and Boaz produced a child in the line of
Christ.
The defilement of this woman was life long. Barne's Notes backs this
line of thinking as well.
Conclusions:
This woman defiled herself when she married the second time.
This woman had caused problems in the marriage.
This woman would defile any one that she married.
Thus the divorcee that remarries is defiled or unmarriable for life.
The second and succeeding spouses are defiled because of the marriage to
the divorcee.
The defilement in the case of the divorcee is for life, while we aren't
told of the second spouse. The indication of Lev. 22:7 is that the priest
would be defiled. If there was a possibility of him removing that defilement
the Bible is silent. I would assume that if he were to put her away, then
his defilement would end.
Leviticus 21:7 "They shall not take a wife [that is] a whore, or profane;
neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he [is]
holy unto his God." (v 14 also)
The priest is not to marry a divorced woman because he is holy. This
is very plain and the indications are very clear that the divorced woman
would be a defilement to the priest.
An associated passage is Lev. 22:13. A priests young childless -
widowed
or divorced daughter may live with the priest, but no strangers are to
eat there. Since this text mentions the widowed, I would assume that the
danger here is that some unwanted possibilities would exist if a stranger
were to drop in for a period of time.
Conclusions from the Leviticus texts might run along this line. If a
man marries a divorced woman he will become defiled or unholy.
It should be pointed out that 22:13 tells us that associating with the
divorcee is not defiling. The divorcee needs to be ministered to and that
is a real problem for the church. We have many divorcees going to churches
that are inadequate doctrinally because they find acceptance there and
they don't in our fundamental churches.
A word of warning: I think that a close relationship to a divorcee could
well damage a good marriage, so there is a real danger in this. The divorcee
can affect in a negative manner a happily married person to the point of
damaging the marriage.
Some suggest many things from Deut. 22:13-21. There is a lot built on
this text that is not really there. If you see comments on it be sure that
you look very carefully. The context is a woman that is claiming to be
a virgin and is trying to publicly get away with her lie. Note: If she
is virgin the marriage bond is for life! Divorce in vs. 19 is literally
"send her away". This is a problem that arises before the marriage is consummated.
(virgin)
It is of interest that Joseph (Mary's husband) knew this ruling. If
he thought that Mary was a non-virgin He may have been showing a great
love for her by trying to divorce her quietly. He didn't want to chance
any harm for her and her baby.
Deut. 22:22 Remember for awhile, the fact that verse 22 mentions death
as the punishment for adultery. Divorce is not in view here!
Deuteronomy 22:28, 29 is of interest while we are in the vicinity. It
speaks of a single man and single woman that have relations. The point
of the passage is marriage and payment of money to the father. The passage
ends with a command, "...and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled
her, he may not put her away all his days. This idea is in v 19 as well.
It seems Moses wanted to emphasis the point. Unless I am seriously wrong,
this is a command that a marriage is for life. It would not seem logical
to penalize these particular situations for life, so we should see it as
general principle - marriage is for life. If there is divorce, the person
is defiled when remarried.
Ezra 10:3,19 "Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put
away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel
of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and
let it be done according to the law.
"And they gave their hands that they would put away their wives; and
[being] guilty, [they offered] a ram of the flock for their trespass."
Chapter nine and Neh. 13:23-31 are also background for this text.
This speaks of putting foreign wives away, however there is no mention
of divorce or bills of divorcement which Deut. required.
The most you can draw from this is that the Jews were allowed to separate
themselves from foreign wives - not divorce. The term used here "put away"
is "yasa" which means to go out from. (This is Strong's 3318 and twot's
893) This is not related to the terms for divorce in the Old Testament.
This was a step to keep the Messianic line pure, and I have not found any
that speak of this being for today.
Proverbs 6:32 "[But] whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh
understanding: he [that] doeth it destroyeth his own soul."
There are two things mentioned here. The adulterer lacketh understanding,
and he destroyeth his own soul.
Just what the last item means is another thing. It would probably be
readily accepted that this is not talking about eternal things. It would
seem that it speaks of the man's earthly life. The soul is the center of
our world consciousness, thus the thought should relate to how the man
relates to his world. Adultery certainly has been observed to seriously
affect the mental and emotional side of people involved, and these two
often can cause problems within the physical realm as well.
Thus the destruction probably relates to the life, or quality of life
of the people involved. I once was told by an older woman of a part of
her life. Her account relates to this point. She had divorced her first
husband and had remarried. She began to look at the Bible and realized
that she should not be married. She mentioned that she went through many
years of guilt feelings because of her situation. She said that she was
very relieved when her first husband died. She felt that she had been freed.
Jeremiah 3:1 "They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from
him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not
that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many
lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD."
God views the put away wife that remarries as an harlot, or as we've
seen - defiled.
Jeremiah 3:8,9 "And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding
Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce;
yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot
also."
"And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she
defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks."
The whole tenor of the text should set the person contemplating adultery
at odds with their straying desires.
Several things to note:
Israel committed adultery and was put away: This might indicate that
the exception of the New Testament for fornication had Old Testament basis.
This is God that did this.
It could better be said that it is an understandable picture that God
gave to the Jews, and that He did not really give them a divorce - He just
put them away for their spiritual adultery.
The thought of Israel being His wife is merely a picture, thus so would
be a divorce from her. If you make the mistake of making this a real divorce
then you have him married to Israel and divorcing her, while he is married
to Judah. You might tack on the fact that Christ will marry the church
one day. Bigamy on the part of God - not a tolerable teaching!
God gave a bill of divorce: Again this does not indicate an Old testament
basis for the exception of the New Testament. Even if this is a true event
of divorce on the part of God, it was for the fear factor in others. He
did it to salvage a relationship with Judah. Application of this might
run along the line that any divorce in this age should be an example and
a case to cause fear in other peoples relationships. It is of interest,
that if this is true, then the people of our day have done as Judah - feared
not and played the harlot.
Conclusions from this text:
1. The thought of the text is that God was trying to set an example
and salvage another relationship.
Those today that do not take the example of others divorcing are not
fearing God and the party that is unfaithful is an HARLOT.
2. This text should be taken within the context of all prior Old Testament
information on divorce, and putting away. The Jewish mind would have understood
this terminology because of their background.
The thought that God actually issued a bill of divorcement should not
be taken as a literal writing and delivering, nor should it be taken as
an okay for man to do so.
I personally feel that it was a picture for Judah and that it was an
illustration. As were the anthropormorphisms of the Psalmist. They picture
an attribute or act of God. He merely saw their adultery and put them away
because of it.
Verse one "they say" may refer to Deut. 24:1-4
The most you might come up with here is that the wife that plays the
harlot, and continues in it for many years - not a one time act of adultery,
may be put away. Remarriage is never an option here. However to view this
as a basis for putting away, I believe that it would be stretching the
text. Indeed, reconciliation is the thought of all that God does in the
book of Jerimiah. He is always calling his people back to Himself. If you
see divorce for adultery in this text, then you must also see no thought
of remarriage to another, as well as the key thought of reconciliation.
Note should be made that this adultery was over many years and even generations
and God still wanted them to return to Him.
Some information on the words used: "committed" and "adultery" are one
word: 5003 na'aph {naw-af'} a primitive root; TWOT - 1273; It seems to
mean to commit adultery. It is used of men/women/figuratively of idolatry.
"her a bill": 5612 cepher {say'-fer} or (feminine) ciphrah (Psa. 56:8 [9])
{sif-raw'} from 5608; TWOT - 1540a,1540b; it has the idea of a book, document
or legal document. "of divorce": 3748 k@riythuwth {ker-ee-thooth'} from
3772; TWOT - 1048a; simply refers to dismissal or divorce. "harlot": 2181
zanah {zaw-naw'} a primitive root [highly-fed and therefore wanton]; TWOT
- 563; relates to commission of fornication, adultery, or harlotry.
Jeremiah 5:7 "How shall I pardon thee for this? Thy children have forsaken
me, and sworn by [them that are] no gods: when I had fed them to the full,
they then committed adultery, and assembled themselves by troops in the
harlots' houses."
The spiritual adultery of Israel should let us know how God feels about
it in the physical realm. Words like these should move the believer to
refrain from the act, to abhor the act, and to teach against the act.
Jeremiah 7:9 "Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear
falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye
know not;"
This use of adultery is speaking of physical and not spiritual adultery.
Adultery is related to stealing, murder, lying, and idolatry. Are these
things that a believer wants to involve themselves in? I fear in our "gray
area" Christian society, believers feel free to be involved in these areas
with no thought.
Jeremiah 23:14 "I have seen also in the prophets of Jerusalem an horrible
thing: they commit adultery, and walk in lies: they strengthen also the
hands of evildoers, that none doth return from his wickedness: they are
all of them unto me as Sodom, and the inhabitants thereof as Gomorrah."
Again, how can the believer desire to have anything to do with adultery
if God feels this way about it? Indeed, there may be a harsh message to
the pastors and leaders of our day that give the idea that divorce/remarriage
are correct methods of operation. Pastors have now, in some cases, decided
it is acceptable for them to be divorced/remarried.
Jeremiah 29:23 "Because they have committed villany in Israel, and have
committed adultery with their neighbours' wives, and have spoken lying
words in my name, which I have not commanded them; even I know, and [am]
a witness, saith the LORD."
This passage would call the erring believer to realize that God is witness
of what they do in the dark. He is also their judge, the judge with the
perfect, truthful, and unfailing witness - Himself.
Ezekiel 16:32 "[But as] a wife that committeth adultery, [which] taketh
strangers instead of her husband!" A bold, concise, and clear statement
of what adultery is!
Ezekiel 23:37 "That they have committed adultery, and blood [is] in
their hands, and with their idols have they committed adultery, and have
also caused their sons, whom they bare unto me, to pass for them through
[the fire], to devour [them]."
This passage should wake some up to the effect their life style has
on their children. God states that the adultery of the father may well
be passed on to the family. Indeed, this is easily observed within the
fabric of our society today.
Ezekiel 44:22 "Neither shall they take for their wives a widow, nor
her that is put away: but they shall take maidens of the seed of the house
of Israel, or a widow that had a priest before."
Hosea 2:2; Hosea 4:2; Hosea 4:13, 14.
Matthew 5:27 "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou
shalt not commit adultery: 28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh
on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in
his heart."
Christ related the wondering minds eye to the wondering physical eye.
If you are involved mentally with one that is not your spouse, you are
involved in adultery. Christ relates this new truth to the commandment
that we have already seen in our study.
One might ask the question, if a person involved in pornography comes
to know the Lord does that person need to remove his mind from the pornography?
I think that the overwhelming answer would be YES! If the one involved
in mental adultery needs to come out of their sin when they are saved,
why shouldn't we teach that the physical adulterer should set aside their
adultery when they become believers?
Matthew 5:32 "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his
wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery:
and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
It is of interest to me that Christ assumes that the person will remarry.
This is related to the society they were operating in. The woman would
have no way of living without a husband, so would naturally look for another
husband.
The statement is clear - If a man puts away his wife, he causes her
to commit adultery. Further, if one marries her he also commits adultery.
"committeth adultery" is a present tense verb which indicates that this
is an ongoing adultery, not just a one time act.
Q. What is this adultery that is committed? Is remarriage equal to one
act of adultery, or is remarriage equal to moving into a relationship of
ongoing adultery? It seems logical that it is ongoing rather than a one
time event. There is no logical basis to relate the act of marriage to
the sin of adultery. Getting married does not make you an adulterer, the
intimacy of marriage to one not your spouse makes you an adulterer.
Some might suggest that remarriage = adultery = one time = this is what
Christ was saying = leaving the spouse. If this is true then the application
of that concept is that any man stepping out on his wife the first time
commits adultery - one time act, and then following occurrences of infidelity
are not adultery. The adultery was the original leaving. Believing that
the adultery is a one time sin that is forgiven once, is not a logical
conclusion.
Context: The Jews and no one else. This is a group of instructions given
to the Jews to prepare them for life in the Kingdom. This is a Jew talking
to Jews, in a Jewish setting, in Jewish times, in a Jewish law discussion,
in Jewish land, with Jewish leaders about a future Jewish age, under a
Jewish ruler.
Most use this verse to show that divorce is okay in the case of fornication.
Most relate fornication to the sin of adultery. By the way none I've read
mentions in this context that the Old Testament penalty for adultery was
death.
The contrast of "some say" and "I say" is of interest as well. Christ
is not teaching on what "some say", but on what He says. This whole section
seems to be His expansion and explanation of some of the Old Testament
concepts, that indeed had been misinterpreted by the Jews of His day.
You might easily view this verse as stating that in the case of fornication
the death penalty (Deut. 22:24) is to be carried out and there is no remarriage
in that case for the person is dead. This was Christ, the one that lived
the law perfectly, that is speaking, and this would certainly be His interpretation
I would think. It is also to be noted that Christ is speaking of the Kingdom
in which He will reign with a rod of iron and judgment of wrong will be
immediate. This would mean the adulterous parties will not be around long
enough to remarry!